Well, without going the obvious route of connecting Joanie and Maggie with the commonality of having ridiculous "What Women Want" fantasies, we can go with:
Joanie has recently dumped Greasy who is somewhat related to Shaggy who has felt up Mrs. Kendall Robinson whose brother is Trey who is cousins with Maggie.
So Joanie is Maggie's cousin's half-sister's near-statutory rape victim's former step-brother's ex-girlfriend.
The Newbie Connection: Morgan the Bloody (Spikette) to Dr. Contrivance (aka Alison)
Joanie has recently dumped Greasy who is somewhat related to Shaggy who has felt up Mrs. Kendall Robinson whose brother is Trey who is cousins with Maggie.
So Joanie is Maggie's cousin's half-sister's near-statutory rape victim's former step-brother's ex-girlfriend.
The Newbie Connection: Morgan the Bloody (Spikette) to Dr. Contrivance (aka Alison)

